Facebook Follies: The IS Factor

Now I know I done talked smack about status updates before. But I find that, in recent weeks, I’ve been haunted by The IS Factor.

IS has been creeping onto my homepage far too frequently…and it’s driving me bonkers.

Oh, the inanity, the inanity!

I don’t get it.

Do you people think you're witty? Original? Inventive? Ingenious? Let me break it to you, “friends”: You’re not. You are not the first, nor will you be the last (unfortunately) to post “is” as a status update.

Buddies, buddies. You ain’t Plato. Or Aristotle. Or Socrates. Or even Descartes. Your philosophical endeavors are embarrassing. They don’t even toe the line of mediocrity. They’re not entertaining in the least.

If you have nothing better to say than “is”, then please…say nothing at all. A status update is not, in fact, necessary. Especially not five times a day. Especially, ESPECIALLY when you have nothing more sprightly to say than “is”.

Now don’t be all, “Oh, woe is me, I thought I was being so clever!” I know it’s not your fault. It’s Mark Zuckerberg and his social-status-updating-invention’s fault.

Prior to the stupid “What’s on your mind?” (w-o-y-m) box, there was a status update box. Unfortunately for those members who belonged to Facebook pre-w-o-y-m, the word “is” was included within the confines of that text box.

Now, since there is no “is”, people feel disoriented. They are discombobulated. Positively perplexed, yo! These peeps are so unbelievably vapid they’re reverting back to the comfort that was Old Facebook.

Sad face.

If they’re not employing the “is” faux pas singularly, then they’re using “is” as part of a solecistic status update.

The two-word openers of some of my recent, cringe-inducing faves:

Laura Sacajawea* is wishes…

Tom Tom Piperson* is slept…

Chris McCreeperson* is needs…

Let’s not confuse our tenses here, people. Or our verbs. Or anything else pertaining to grammar. Adding “is” is NOT necessary. Laura, you can wishes without the “is”. Tom Tom you can slept late without the “is”. And Chris, you can just needs! No need for the “is”!!

Yes, it’s entertaining to see how easily this small verb confuses the masses. But it’s also a little gag generating.

Come on! Exclude the “is” if it’s not necessary!

And please, for the love of ice cream cones. Please don’t play philosopher-for-a-day and put “is” as your w-o-y-m update. You’re not being existential. You’re simply being inept.

* Names have obviously been changed. I don’t want to hurt any of my friends’ feelings!