If it Ain't Rainin, Don't Jinx it.

Now I know I complain a lot about the weather. But really, how could I not? It’s just so unfair! It seems to rain five days out of every week.

And now the stupid weatherman is saying it’s gonna – you guessed it – rain for the next three days.

Perhaps I should be a weatherman. Or, rather, a weatherwoman (I’m so PC!!) I think it’d be a fairly simple vocation – “Mostly cloudy with a couple of showers and a thunderstorm possible.”
What a tough job, to come up with simple variations of the same exact weather predictions.
Totes ridic.

That’s why it kills me, sticks a dagger in my heart and twists, when I see people holding their open umbrellas when it’s not raining.
Yes, the sky may look threatening. There may have just been a few droplets falling from the clouds. But no, it’s currently sans drizzle – so WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HOLDING AN OPEN UMBRELLA?

It’s like they’re taunting the rain gods or something. It’s outrageous.

Haven’t you people, you faux-rain-umbrella-holders, ever heard that saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”?

Well, if it ain’t raining, don’t jinx it! Trying to navigate a New York City sidewalk is difficult enough. It gets even more challenging (and über frustrating) when umbrellas are thrown into the mix.

So really people, you’re really going to whip out your stupid black umbrella when it’s not even drizzling????
Please, STOP inviting a downpour with your obnoxious, overeager preparedness. We don’t want it to rain. We hate the rain. So why oh why oh WHY are you tempting Zeus? He’s a selfish a-hole who likes to make us poor commoners woebegone on a seemingly daily basis.

Stop it right now. Stop opening your umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh every g-d time a black cloud appears.

It’s not raining! (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Yet.