Paper Cuts are PAINFUL!

I’ve always been a very avid reader. Be it Little House on the Prairie or War and Peace, I love nothing more than to get completely lost in a book. That’s why I love my job! Duh.

But there’s one aspect of working in book publishing that I was in no way prepared for.
Das paper cuts.

And boy do I sure get a lot of them. They hurt, yo!

I’m a Klutz (got that? capital K!) Perhaps my big ole body never got used to its size, but I am forever crashing into things, stubbing toes, jamming fingers, whacking my head, tripping over my own two feet.

That’s why, I guess, it comes as no surprise that I attract paper cuts like human blood attracts vampires.

It’s simply unavoidable.

Whether I’m flipping through papers, turning the page of a book, ripping open an envelope, or filing a folder, those stupid pulpy fibers always find a way of slicing my finger open.

Never in a million trillion would I have guessed that a small little sliver of a wound could be so terribly painful. The stinging, the stinging!!

It’s like a needle being dragged back and forth below your skin. I’m wincing just thinking about it.

And man oh man, as if the paper-family cuts weren’t bad enough, my Klutziness has formed a new acquaintance. Plastic.

I was carrying my groceries home in a reusable Stew Leonard’s bag the other day (good kid!) Of course it was filled to the brim. As I went to shut my door, somehow – I have no idea how…blame it on the c-c-c-c-c-clumsiness – I sliced my elbow on the arugula container.

Really. Really?

And that sucker bled! I actually had to put a band aid on it!

Wamp wamp.

Wish I could ditch that jfkdahga Klutz.