Picture (NOT) Perfect

We’ve all been there. We’ve all done it. Hell, we all still do it.

Yet whhhhhy do we insist on consistently embarrassing ourselves? Why do we pose the shit out of pictures?

The second someone brings out a camera, the game faces go on. The picture taker flips some invisible switch and immediately the picture takees light up, faces beaming, grins plastered on, like some horrendific misplaced dolls from Disney’s “It’s a Small World” ride.

There are few things in life funnier than watching people readying themselves for and posing in a picture.

Belieeeeeve me: I have been one of those people. No doubt I’ll continue to be one of those people. But – and here’s the but – at least I’ve come to realize how silly it is.

This fascination/obsession with having the perfect picture is perfectly hilarious.

Do I have any food in my teeth?

How does my hair look?

Wait, let me put lipgloss on!

As if the picture-perfect-prep isn’t bad enough, in this age of digitized photographs there’s then the ability to view instantly. And, of course, delete.

Redo. Delete. Redo.

My arm looks fat, redo!

Ew, let me stand in the middle, retake!

Gross, my eye is half closed, take another.
Redoredoredoredoredoredoredo.

Enough already!

It’s a picture. One picture. A single minnow in the vast damn ocean of frozen images.

There are tons of photos out there – and undoubtedly there will be tons more in your life. I alone have 1,150 tagged of me on Facebook. OUTRAGEOUS.

Those are precious momentitos lost posing. Hair fixing. Gloss reapplying. Deleting and redoing.

Take, for instance, this video of me and my fam on Thanksgiving (sorry, FB won't let me embed). We wasted an entire eight seconds looking pretty, posing for the cam. Let’s just figure out a tad of how time consuming this ridiculousness is:

Eight seconds times 1,150 pictures is two and a half hours.

Two and a half HOURS of your life wasted on picture posing.

Gah!

Stop wasting time prettifying. Bring on the candids!!