“I will H1N1 all OVER you!” This was my comeback at a concert-goer last weekend. He was making fun of my ‘stache, yo! What else was a girl to do?
In reality, I should not have been outside. I should have been cozied up in my apartment reading or catching up on hours of DVR.
I’ll admit, it wasn’t the nicest threat on my behalf. But I was coughing and blowing my nose incessantly and I was just trying to have a good time and he was making fun of my funny faux mustache!
Fingers crossed I don’t Secret the Swine to myself for talking shit about it.
For now, at least, Swine free begins with me. I just have a no-good, very-bad cold. This past week has been one box of tissues after another.Being sick sucks. Like whoa.
When you’re little, having a cold is fun. You get to stay home from school. Suck on Luden's cherry flavored cough drops (which definitely make you feel grownup and worldly and taste oddly like candy).
Your parents fawn over you, wait on you hand and foot. Whatever you feel like eating instantly materializes under Mom’s deft hands. You controlled of the remote!
Those were the days. Being sick ruled when you were a kid. But now...now being sick just plain sucks.
Missing school and missing work are eons apart. (Though I would like to acknowledge how our crazy culture is so brainwashed, that even if we are sick we still go to work. Like robots, we’re programmed: “Can. Not. Miss. Work. Can. Not. Can. NOT.”)
There’s no Mom in sight to make you chicken noodle soup (this is probably the most devastating part of being an adult - cause yeah, Trissi’s chicken noodle soup rocks.)
Every time you cough in public, people give you the death-stare. Blowing your nose suddenly becomes the most dreaded thing in the world (mine is currently rubbed raw, flaky, and perma-chapped).
You can barely sleep - what with the constant need to blow/cough, blow/cough. And when you do fall asleep, there’s the unfortunate guarantee that you will awake to piles of drool and a mouth lined in cotton balls.
Even TV is annoying! There’s no Duck Tales to watch with glee, only copious amounts of Top Chef, Project Runway, The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Greek - I’m going to stop there before I really start embarrassing myself - to catch up on.
You know there is a problem when television watching isn’t enjoyable. Seriously, it felt like a sick-day chore!
Those were the days. Being sick ruled when you were a kid. But now...now being sick just plain sucks. Missing school and missing work are eons apart. (Though I would like to acknowledge how our crazy culture is so brainwashed, that even if we are sick we still go to work. Like robots, we’re programmed: “Can. Not. Miss. Work. Can. Not. Can. NOT.”)
There’s no Mom in sight to make you chicken noodle soup (this is probably the most devastating part of being an adult - cause yeah, Trissi’s chicken noodle soup rocks.)
Every time you cough in public, people give you the death-stare. Blowing your nose suddenly becomes the most dreaded thing in the world (mine is currently rubbed raw, flaky, and perma-chapped).
You can barely sleep - what with the constant need to blow/cough, blow/cough. And when you do fall asleep, there’s the unfortunate guarantee that you will awake to piles of drool and a mouth lined in cotton balls. Even TV is annoying! There’s no Duck Tales to watch with glee, only copious amounts of Top Chef, Project Runway, The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Greek - I’m going to stop there before I really start embarrassing myself - to catch up on.
You know there is a problem when television watching isn’t enjoyable. Seriously, it felt like a sick-day chore!
Shame on me for thinking myself invincible. For believing that, while everyone around me was getting sick, I would be miraculously bypassed.
But come on. I pop Vitamin C daily. I am a perpetual hand-washer/green tea-drinker. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I disinfect my desk at work.
Hell, my mother gives me a bottle of Purrell every time she sees me. (And boxes of tissues which is kinda funny and ironic and foreshadow-y.) I’m talking ridiculous amounts. I have collections of them.
Alas, I guess I just have to suck it up (or blow it out, whichever). Cause à la Heidi: In this germ-ridden world, one week you’re sick, and the next week, you’re not.
But come on. I pop Vitamin C daily. I am a perpetual hand-washer/green tea-drinker. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I disinfect my desk at work.Hell, my mother gives me a bottle of Purrell every time she sees me. (And boxes of tissues which is kinda funny and ironic and foreshadow-y.) I’m talking ridiculous amounts. I have collections of them.
Alas, I guess I just have to suck it up (or blow it out, whichever). Cause à la Heidi: In this germ-ridden world, one week you’re sick, and the next week, you’re not.
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