Giving Dankes

I know, I know. I’m the world’s most gigantic hypocrite. Just last week I was hemming and hawing about establishments rolling out the trees n’ tinsel before Halloween is even over.
And this week - get ready for it - I’m a Christmastime Convert.

Maybe it’s cause I just had to oust those in-your-face bags-o-decorations piled up, eyesore-style, on my floor. Or perhaps it was Monday’s fa-fa-fa-reeeeezing temps. But whatever the reason - GASP - I’ve stopped to smell the mistletoe (or started to, I should say).

You heard it here first! I shall be no Grinch. No Scrooge. No Bumble. No Professor Hinkle. Not me, not this year!

Ooookaaaaaay fine. Ya’lls know that Scrooge-free does NOT begin with me. And my Grinch-o-Meter definitely hasn’t plummeted to zero.

But let’s just say (sure, relish in judging the shit out of me), as I was putting ornaments on my mini-tree Monday night (isn’t it cute?), listening to Frank and Bing croon (and maybe a little Celine), my brand new XXXL heart melted and warmth oozed throughout my frigid body.

Thanksgiving is upon us, peeps. It’s here. And four weekends till Christmas, me oh me oh my!

And so for the (?) time in No Dankes! history, I’s gonna write something nice.
It’s Turkey Day so let’s all play pilgrims and GIVE THANKS!

(Here I pause. And pause. And pause some more. It’s interesting that I - and I fear I am not alone - can speak so freely about things that bother me, annoy me, piss me off, things that I detest...but when it comes to ponies and flowers and rainbows...well...I pause.)

Some time later...

I put on my thinking cap and came up with some thanks. Herewith, ladies and gentlemen, are things I am dankesful for.

There’s the majorly maaaaayjaaaaahly fantabulous things in my life - not to be trivialized one bit - but since they’re fairly obvi, I shall skipperoo through them: Tim, Tris, Timmy, my Morrell side & my Parry side (3 grandparents, 10 uncles, 12 aunts, 1 great-aunt, 24 cousins, 3 baby cousins-once-removed, 2 cousins-in-law...I don’t know the names for the rest), my best friends, my friends, my job, my health, our servicemen & women, the health of all of the aforementioned, the long life of my most beloved pet pooch, Cooper.


Life.

Yesterday I spent 4 1/2 hours in the emergency room at St. Vincent’s Hospital. I’ll NO Dankes! that experience next week, but it was jarringly (sur)real and not just a little shocking to be surrounding by such sickness. Old people, dying people, lonely people. Talk about de-press-ing.
I really think we all sometimes forget how fleeting all of this is.

Not to be macabre, but we need to remind ourselves that we’re mere mortals. That our entire lifetime is but a blink, a blip, in this ever-expanding, billions-of-years-old universe.
I devour classic literature (all Penguin, of course!) - and it’s quite astonishing to a 21st century reader to see how at ease our ancestors were with death.

This gravestone inscription (morbid, I know), really resonated with me: “As you are now so once was I, As I am now so shall you be.” Whoa.

I’m not trying to sound all preachy, but ’tis true. It’s so easy to forget how wonderful life is. To get so caught up in cattiness and bitterness and anger and disappointment and side-choosing and shit-talking and what-ifs. Just think about it.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Onward we go to the bright, light side of life’s more leisurely amenities that I am utmost thankful for. These include (but are not limited to) the following:
Indoor plumbing! We are so lucky. Bubble baths. Razors. High-pressure massaging shower heads. Hell, massages. Gooseneck sink spouts. Brita’s.

Flat-screen TVs. DVR (can you believe we used to watch VCR recorded VHS’s?) Almost all cable shows (and some network shows). Mad Men. Black and white movies - OMG, TCM! Hollywood glamour. Hollywood drama. Audrey, Ingrid, Grace, Marilyn, Kate & Gwyneth. Cary Grant, Paul Newman, James Stewart, Brad/Leo/Robert Pattinson/John Hamm. NETFLIX!

Computers. MacBooks!!!!!!!!!!! (Life changing.) iPods. (How did we live WITHOUT them?????) iPhones for that matter. Le Internet.
Whole Foods cold/hot food & dessert bar. Funfetti cupcakes. The fact that apples with peanut butter are considered “healthy”. Skor Bars. Peanut Butter Twix Bars. Joe’s Pizza. A really, really good sandwich comprised of no less than 15 ingredients. The World’s Best Latte (according to moi) from Third Rail Coffee - which happens to be right next to my apartamento. Rootbeer. Pumpkin beer. Wheat beer. Blueberry beer. Any beer. Vin rouge.

Books, books, omfg books! Tolstoy, Austen, Hardy, Steinbeck, the Brontë sisters, Gaskell, Dickens. Hosseini, Diaz, Chevalier, Shreve, McEwan, McCarthy, MEYER. amazon.com (though it’s nearly singlehandedly undermining the publishing industry).
Coconut everything: lip balm, cake, lotion, mmm macaroons, milk, rum, haystacks, rice, piña coladas, body spray, oil, shampoo.

Trains, planes, automobiles! Or, modes more apt to this city: subways, cabs, and my own two feet!

The City. My hometown in the NWC deserves some love, too: Sharon, CT. I’m so thankful I grew up there. The historic beauty - the clock tower, the town green, the gorgeous mansions. The trees and rolling hills and lakes and quietness and serenity and lushness.
I’m extra thankful for Sharon, actually. And so happy that I get to go home in just a few hours to my quaint country town - dankes Penguin for a 1:00pm closing! I cannot wait to spend time with my fam (wish you could be there, Timmy & Cass!), and friends.

And Cooper, my darling pup. I’m thankful for the 15 1/2 years we got to spend with you. I’ll miss bestowing your Thanksgiving Feast at those ridiculously well-behaved paws. We’ll all be thinking of you on this, your most favorite day of the year. Love and miss you so much, buddy.
Now I challenge you to give dankes. And I implore you: Take some time tomorrow to be in the moment, living. Don’t get all anxious about traffic, or being late, or eating so much you’ve gotta do the unbutton, or missing the kickoff, or burning the biscuits. Big deal. So what.

Appreciate what you have, remember how lucky we all are, and just be happy. Don’t sweat the small stuff, yo! Cause everybody’s clocks are ticking and that’s some pretty scary shit but we’re all in this together.
(Oh, and one last thing. I’m thankful for all of you who read this blog and for your support and enthusiasm and encouragement. It honestly does mean more than you know! Happy a safe, hearty, HAPPY Dankesgiving!!!)