“Trick” Indeed

Maybe it’s just that I’m getting up there in years, that I’m so far removed from anything “kid”. I mean, I have been an “adult” for quite some time now. Kinda. (Kelly and I carved that cute little owl pumpkin!)

But seriously, what has happened to Halloween? Where did it go?
It’s become such a manufactured holiday. Like every single other holiday out there, it has been engineered to make money for candy (and costume) corporations. But it’s also become synonymous with “slutty” - a day fully dedicated to socially acceptable skanks. So sad.

Everyone jokes how it’s the one day a year that it’s actually OK (and legal) to dress like a prostitute, but I find the dime-a-dozen minidress-donning French maids, flight attendants, nurses/cops/Playboy bunnies/cats and witches so boring. So unoriginal. So annoying.

Has my memory once again left me high and dry? Perhaps. But I don’t recall such “sexy” costumes being a staple of yesteryear Halloweens.

Maybe it’s New York that’s done it to me. It’s sad to see kids trick-or-treating at restaurants and coffee shops and retail stores! My Aunt Meg used to march us kids all over Danbury. Our legs would be screaming in agony from walking, our arms numb from carrying so much candy, but it was so exciting, such a good time.

Even when I was a teenager, my friends and I would have tons-o-good, clean fun! Yes, it involved some shaving cream, fine. But it was 97% innocent.

Me and my pals have always been clever costumers. We put our imagination into our outfits - along with our blood, sweat, and tears. Take college, for instance, when we dressed up as a homemade six-pack of Bud Light. We cut the material, stenciled on the logo, and colored it in. A-maz-ing.

You really just don’t see that these days. Now it’s just all-slut-all-the-time. It’s not “Oh let me spend some time thinking about what I want to be.” It’s, oh let me just go into this Halloween Super Store and pick out the most bootylicious-service-provider outfit POSSIBLE!

Where is the Halloween love? The desire to don something clever and crafty, something you won’t see on 67 other people that night.

Don’t get me wrong - of course I’ve showed a little leg and painted on thick mask of makeup on All Hallow’s Eve . I’m just saying be more original about it. Preserve the integrity of the holiday, people. Don’t buy a bagged costume, buy a dress on EBay and make your costume around it, like I did this year.

Well, I can’t really take credit for the idea - we were Super Mario Land at work (the winning department!), so I just recycled my Princess Peach costume. But it was original - that dress was definitely a one-of-a-kind from the 80s.

But my smartypants friends actually made their costumes. Take for instance: Ri and Katie Leo as Dominoes, Jared and Mike as Tetris pieces, Burke as a Rockette, Kelly as Holly Golightly, Michelle as Taylor Swift (on the weekend).

It was so refreshing to be at a party where so many people put so much thought and time into their costumes. Bravo!

I don’t know, I guess I’m just disappointed in the commercialism of Halloween, the way it has become. It used to be so pure and fun, like Hocus Pocus.

Now it’s nada but hussies and harlots, “tricks” if you will, walking the streets on October 31st. (With a side of mellowcreme stomachaches and skull funnel headaches.)