No really, it’s not. Not at all. Not even one little bit.
Now I love me some abbreviations - or should I say abbr.’s. I'm pretty much addicted to anything and everything abbreviated. They’re the best thing since Cake Man Raven's red velvet. Many people can't stand my vernacular inventions, but my good friend Kelly and I are pretty much the sisters in Nell with their ridonculous language. We totes speak and type almost exclusively in tongues.
However, there is one – well, two – abbr.’s that drive me (and Kelly) absolutely, positively crazy.
The first is LOL. The second is LMAO.
I don’t understand why people use LOL. Where did it come from? It’s an unnecessary shortening. There’s no need to condense “haha”. Fine, I know some people prefer not to type out a phrase that isn't really a word but rather a sound. But to these people I say: LOL is not a word, either. Therefore it should not be substituted as such.
(Yes I made that LolCat. Even though they're annoying, you should probably buy our book: http://www.amazon.com/Can-Has-Cheezburger-LOLcat-Colleckshun/dp/159240409X)
This morning I was iming with Kelly. She asked what the blog would be about today and I simply wrote: lol. Her reply is copied and pasted below:
kelly: ohhhhhh god! i thought you were saying it for real!
kelly: my mouth dropped!
Never, EVER will LOL or LMAO ever, ever creep in and disgrace our conversations with their presence.
Please, dear friends. I know there are certain situations when things may be really funny and deserve more oomph than a petty “haha” can offer. But I implore you, instead of employing a "laugh out loud" LOL or a "laughing my ass off" LMAO, just abuse the hell outta those two keystrokes and type "hahahahahhahahahahahahahahah". That will suffice! I promise!
'Tis far, far better to read someone’s typed "hahahahaha's" - you can actually picture their tummy-rumbling-cheeky-chuckles, imagine the laugh-ee rolling around and heaving with hearty snorts and howls. Who wants to envision the chuckler holding down the shift button and typing those stupid three letters: LOL. It's the most unfunny phrase ever. It ruins the funniness of whatever was laughable in the first place.
And LMAO - ugh. That is arguably the most uncomfortably configured abbreviation in all the land. In no world do those letters belong together. It goes against the stars, against the universe!
LOL and LMAO are not entitled to stand for anything, imply anything. They are an abomination to the abbreviation institution. I cringe when I see them in emails and IM conversations. What ARE you, LOL? You are nothing but awkward and awful! And LMAO, you are nada but a pile of two consonants and two vowels. Worthless! Hapless! Hopeless! And utterly disgusting.
So come on friends and foes. Please forthwith strip your mind of the atrocities that are LOL and LMAO. Use them nevermore, nevermore. Por favor, por favor.