Rain, rain go away...and DON'T come again some other day.

Gotta love NY1’s Weather on the 1’s. But when I tuned in at 8:21 last night, I was greeted with “Leave those sunglasses at home tomorrow, it’s going to be another gray, rainy day.”

Rain: I am so over you.


I know, I know. April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring peasants and all that crap. But come on. It’s only the 7th of the month – and out of seven days, it’s been peeing rain for five. Now I’m no mathematician but that’s, like, 71.42857% of the time. 

Woof.

I know I always say how fabulous New York is (because, well, it is) - but there are a few issues I’ve got some beef with. Tippity top on the list is that I absolutely, positively abhor New York when it rains. Not to be a braggart or anything but I walk to work. After only eight and a half short minutos, I am at the office – and that is practically the best thing ever…

…EXCEPT WHEN IT’S RAINING. There’s nothing worse than NYC in a monsoon. It’s a pedestrian city and it absolutely sucks when you have to walk to work (or anywhere else). 99% of the time, my other-borough-dweller co’s hate me and my commute. But this month, the roles have been reversed. I’ve hated them and their cushy, sheltered LIRR trains for 71.42857% of the time. Sure, they have to walk two or three blocks from the subway. But I have to walk eight and a half minutes worth of blocks! Gah! I look like a bedraggled, sopping, muddy dog when I walk into the office. Actually I take that back. NYC pooches have raincoats – which is more than I can say for myself.

Come on Zeus, the recession is punishing this city enough. No need to continue bombarding us with the rain! Get your geography straight, yo. This isn’t Forks, Washington. There is no family by the name of Cullen (though I would love, love, love if Edward was a Manhattanite).

In the movie Sabrina, Audrey Hepburn – Sabrina – tells Humphrey Bogart – Linus – that when he travels to Paris he should order himself some rain. That there’s nothing better than Paris in the rain. Ha! I'll admit Paris does seem pretty glamorous in a downpour. But I must beg to differ when it comes to New York. I think there’s nothing better than NYC in the sunshine. So come onnnnn. Rain, rain, go AWAY! Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you! Now go eat worms (the ones on the sidewalk that come out in the stupid rain, gross).