Not-So-Pretty Nails

Nail salons are about as common as rats in New York City. Alright, alright – I embellish. But they’re pretty ridiculously common. Common and cheap. Best combo ever!

Because they’re so reasonable and so omnipresent, I began to make it part of my weekly routine to get a manicure. Some places are $8, others – cleaner, choicer polish options, an altogether better atmosphere and ambiance, like Spa Belles on 6th Ave – are $13. Still pretty practical.

But since we are in a recession and since I pretty much pay my LIFE away to live in Greenwich Village AND since I work in book publishing which, let’s face it, is not the most lucrative industry – I decided to cut back on my manis. I have enough different polishes to suffice a weekly swap.

I recently had a birthday – which, by the way, aren’t that glamorous after 21…not that 21 is by any means glamorous, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I decided to treat myself to a mani. Of COURSE I’m a pushover for pretty new polishes, so I was over the moon when I saw that Essie had come back from their 2008 fluorescent romp with a spanking new line-o-neons. Yippee!

It was a Saturday afternoon. The clouds had dissipated, leaving in their wake a lustrous cerulean sky. The birthday gods were shining upon me! Kelly, my steadfast mani-buddy, decided on Punchy Pink for her nails. After some debate, I opted for Perky Purple.

One bottom coat, two matte layers of polish, and one glossy topcoat finish later, we chatted amicably whilst the solvents evaporated. Not one, not two, but three cycles under the dryers later, we decided they were good to go.

Thankfully our conscientiousness paid off. There was no smudging of the polish. However. Only a few hours into the night, the Perky Purple was losing its perk. Yes, it's true. My $13 mani was chipping – and with little to no exertion on behalf of my hands. The horror! Ruined my birthday.

OK not really, but I was pretty peeved.

Manicures are supposed to last at least a week without flaking. Especially the more “expensive” ones. Ugh!

Half-chipped nail polish is pretty disgusting. It makes one appear unkempt, disheveled, even dirty. Sure, I’m guilty of not removing my polish when it has passed its prime. But I can still judge the shit out of grody, scraped off, half-lacquered fingernails.

With all the innovations the nail polish remover industry has seen, it’s a no-brainer. So por favor: if your Pretty Nails ain’t so pretty anymore, just use one of those nifty little polish remover pads and take it off.