Faux Fall

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe summer ends with the Fourth…and those who are Labor Day holdouts.

I, unfortunately, belong to the former school of thought.

Why everyone doesn’t feel that the Fourth is it, I know not. (Especially with those Fashion Gods controlling our every fancy - “Fall Arrivals are HERE!” Umm...it’s still July. Thanks.)
So yeah, I’m generally the pessimistic, gloomy defeatist that everyone (especially Kelly Cobb) yells at when I start complaining how summa is already ova. Wham, bam is practically September!

However, this year I’ve been trying something called optimism on for size. I’ve been reminding myself that I still got lots of vaca left – the entire month of August. Atlantic City! Rhode Island! Cape Cod! I’m really trying to remain fairly upbeat about it.

And yet…my quasi cheerful/cynical nature was caught off guard by Mother Nature the other day when, on my walk to work, I noticed a scattering of leaves on the sidewalk.

Anger bubbled up in my veins and my downcast, lackluster eyes noticed nothing but more dead leaves. And more. And MORE.

Really? Really???

I’m sorry you have bipolar disorder Mama Natch but come on. It’s not autumn yet!!! Why you dropping dried leaves already? As if I need another reminder that we’re spiraling downward toward coldness!
WTFssss???
Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon?

What I find most puzzling and paradoxical is the fact that it has been a ridiculously wet spring AND “summer” and therefore there should be no reason those stupid leaves have shriveled up and died.

Why they so confused? It’s not your time, buddies!
I know I been complaining lots about air conditioning and back sweat this week, but there have been quite a few days this month that have felt more like October than August.

It’s just downright mean.
The gusty winds, the gloomy skies, the cool temps, the dead leaves everywhere.

I mean, really. Come on.

I guess it’s back to counting the seconds till Mellowcreme Pumpkins, long sweaters, and tall leather boots for this stick in the mud.