Turbulence is Terrifying

Next to water bugs, I think the scariest thing in the world is turbulence.

I know, I know. People are not meant to fly. Otherwise we wouldn’t weigh hundreds of pounds (why oh why does food have to be delicious!)

And, oh, we’d have wings.

But since the brilliant innovation of the mighty aeroplane, it’s possible for us to get from one place to another lickety split.

Unfortunately the lickety part ain’t so lickety.

It’s funny that, as a child, you’re always super psyched to fly. I used to love hopping on a plane and jetting off to Disney World.

But the older I get, the more frightened I am of going up, up, up and awaaaay.

Perhaps it’s because, in the event of a crash, you face certain death. (Does anyone else agree that there has been a ridiculous amount of plane crashes lately???)

But the turbulence…the turbulence! I loathe thee! Why do you have to be such an inevitable part of flying? Why oh why!

I haaate the teeth smashing, stomach flopping, leg slamming air bumps. It’s crazy that pressure and property and velocity changes (I can’t even attempt to understand the mathematical equations that are turbulence…is that physics?) cause me to become extreeeeeemely paranoid.

Maybe it’s the close quarters. The inability to move around. The fact that I am strapped to an extremely uncomfortable seat, for better or for worse.

But most likely, my turbulence terror is induced by the knowledge that I am zooming through the air, upwards of 35,000 feet, at 500 miles per hour.
Yes, it is this unnerving reality that makes turbulence so horrifying. It makes me never want to fly ever again. It’s like the beginning of Garden State when Zach Braff experiences such dreadful turbulence, he is sure he is going to die. 

That is how I feel every time those bumps rear their horrific heads.

I hate you turbulence.