Do Dankes: acu.pun?sure!

(Boy was that a sorry excuse for a pun. But I just can’t help myself - I love puns. My friend Jeffery and I could hold a conversation exclusively in puns and abbreviations - in fact, we often do.)

Alas, the point of this post is not, in fact, to perfect a plucky little pun (nor is it to utter incredibly awesome alliterations).

Instead it’s to sing praises of that prickly Eastern practice: being poked with needles.

Acupuncture has been around since the Stone Age. Vicodin? Not even a hundred years (you do the math).

I, however, didn’t get around to trying the former until last week - and honestly, it doesn’t surprise me one bit that insurance companies don’t cover this form of holistic medicine. Pharmaceutical giants would drop faster than marathoners on a hot day!

Not only do they not cover it - they frown upon it. Look down on it. Turn others against it.

It’s pretty ridiculous how acupuncture is so pooh-poohed by mainstream medicine. Unfairly and unjustly so. Yeah, it’s confusing and not just a little intimidating, what with all the lingo - meridians and channels and qi and zang-fu - and how the hell does it actually work!

But who cares! There are lots and lots of things we don’t understand in life (or Lost). So whatever - cause I sure do think it works wonders.

There are so many ailments acupuncture alleviates: aches, pains, anxiety, stress, sickness, depression, forgetfulness. Instead of ingesting 10 different pills for each of your symptoms, the simple solution is a few sessions of this most brilliant Ancient Chinese practice (it’s cumulative so it takes a bit to see results).

I’ve heard about the magic that is acupuncture firsthand. Kelly has often raved about it. Even my mother, Queen of Western Medicine, turned to acupuncture for her chronic pain (shocking, I know!)

But as I said, insurance don’t cover it - and it’s not cheap, especially in the city.

Reason #1,892 K. Cobb is awesome? She does her research - all I have to do is reap the benefits. That’s how we ended up at a Community Acupuncture last Wednesday. Only $25!

Needles don’t make me nervous - in fact, I was more curious and excited than anything. I sat in the anti-gravity chair, rolled up my pants, and watched as the acupuncturist plotted, examined, and stabbed. Four in each leg, a few in my chest, and one in my scalp.

Immediately there was a sensation of energy swirling and pulsating through my entire body - like someone had turned a faucet on. It was pretty crazy. I’ve not experienced anything like it ever.

The more needles she stabbed into my skin (they’re super thin and go in about a quarter of an inch), the more I felt my blood flowing. The deeper my relaxation went. The more I let go and the less I cared about the million things I had weighing and pressing upon my mind. It was a bit nirvana-esque.

Sure, it’s called “Community” for a reason - there’s other people in the room with you, there’s no wooden pipe-y/chanty music, the lights aren’t dimmed - but for $25, who cares.

I didn’t want to be un-stuck. I was sad when she said she was going to start removing the needles (there was a teeny spot of blood on my legs but other than that, A-OK).

All in all, ‘twas a lovely experience. Kathy Cobb had a brilliant suggestion for next time (inspired by my Obsessive Impulsive Disorder post: I should ask them to stick a needle in the spot that makes me shop - maybe that will stop me!