Elevator. Etiquette.

Sincerest apologies to those most loyal followers – all 21 of you – that I have not blogged in almost a week! You see, I was in a wedding this past weekend. And let me just say…I’ve learned that being in a wedding is verra verra time consuming.

Nevertheless, the hitching went off without a hitch and ‘twas a truly lovely day!

After a fabulous weekend full of marital bliss, I was riding fairly high on the waves of life. My insides were as warm and gooey as a heated Jacques Torres chocolate chip cookie (to DIE for!) I awoke yesterday morning, my seasonal depression kept at bay by the bright sunshine. It would be a good day, I thought.

An hour later I walked through the automatic turnstiles of my office towards the elevators. It often puzzles me why sometimes there are dozens of people waiting and other times there are but a few. Yesterday, unfortunately, was the former sitch.

The white light “dinged” and people ran. Literally, they ran. They pushed and they cut. Adults actually cut in front of me. Terrible! Really people, you’re really in that much of a hurry to get to work? Fine, I thought. I’ll sit it out. I’ll wait. I’m polite. I have manners.
It’s really unfortunate but seriously, New Yorkers have no elevator etiquette. None at all. None of them. Thank you Bethenny Frankel for calling us out! I waited for 3 – t-h-r-e-e – elevators before finally getting on one. And then, the nerve, the insanity – people who work but one floor up just haaave to hitch a ride. America is in the throes of an obesity epidemic! Perhaps they should take the stairs instead? Especially when their stop is just ONE FLIGHT UP!

What really gets me going, though, is when you’re in...you've finally made it into the lift, you press the button – in my case 5 – and then firmly hold down the “Door Close” circle, telepathically urging the doors to close and for you to be off. But noooo. People just HAVE to rush, rush, run in and those doors bang open. Again. And again. And again.

I repeat: Really, you’re really in that much of a hurry?

Yes, I've probably been made even more cynical and impatient by living in this grand old city. Maybe if I still lived in Connecticut elevator etiquette wouldn't bother me as much as it does. Maybe I wouldn't be as THRILLED to get on an express elevator at 5pm (5th floor to lobby, NO STOPS!) instead of a local (5th floor, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, lobby, ew!) Yes it's all the luck of the draw but still, it makes me skip out of the office when the elevator doesn't stop at each and every floor.

I suppose that as long as I live in NYC, I shall be forced to dwell in cynicism and impatience when it comes to riding in elevators. All I ask, though, is this: please, if the elevator doors are closing, don't, DO NOT think it's OK just to pop in. Nobody wants you to do that. And I promise, another will be along shortly. Better to be a few seconds late to your desk than to have an entire elevator be royally pissed off at you.